Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Chapter 2 - Rising Tides

Thanks to everyone who read chapter one. It's been awesome having people read and comment on my stuff.

Chapter 2 is a short one. More to come later this week.

"They do not look at the sky. They do not look at the sea. They do not see how it changes with the hours, with the days, with the seasons. For them, every day is the same."


Anonymous zirconia said...

I'm assuming that this is a mood-piece that will be applicable later, and right now is letting us pause from the duel between Za'dar and the Kang warrior.

On a grammatical basis, I'd like to see far fewer adverbs, especially the use of the word "gingerly." I feel badly for all of those English teachers who encouraged us to use our vocabularies prolifically, but didn't have the time/skills/etc. to show us how to practice moderation and restraint.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Tony said...

Ah Zironia, I can already see that you're going to be my verbiage police.

10:03 PM  

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